As guilty as I feel about hogging the blogosphere, I felt inspired today to write a short religious blog on the rosary.  There are SO many reasons to pray this prayer, (1) It is a meditation on the life, death, and Resurrection of our Lord, awesome topics for reflection (2) It is a fitting tribute to Our Lady (3) Our Lady asked (ordered?) us to at her revelation to the children of Fatima to pray five decades of the rosary daily (4) It keeps the devil away (frees us from temptation)......I could go on and on.  But the point that I want to make today in this blog is how difficult it is to pray the rosary well, at least for me.  I have read the Secret of the Rosary by Louis de Montfort, I know theoretically the beauty of the Haily Mary and the Our Father and so forth.  But the prayer is so repetitive.  And my mind is so easily prone to distraction, as I fight and shake them off over and over again, I can't gat through one decade or even more than a couple Haily Marys and I'm totally off topic of the meditation.  Can anyone relate to this?

I know that to win the spiritual battle, we must persevere in prayer.  And yet when I was younger, and I tell my parish priest (Novus Ordo) or spiritual director or other friends about my struggles, and they would suggest that I STOP praying the rosary, and pray something more "fun" or easier.  I think that's total garbage myself.  I think because of Our lady's revelation at Fatima, every single Catholic should be praying, or at least attempting to pray, the rosary every day.  At the same time, I never managed to get into the habit of praying the roasry every day, I would go in fits and starts, arguing to myself that I was too busy with work.  That was garbage on my part.  I knew better, I should have made it priority #1.  So now, I am trying to perservere in this prayer, but I'm finding it a lot easier to pray the rosary when I feel like it or on days when I'm not so busy or tired or distracted, Instead I am trying to make the firm commitment to pray it everyday come hell or highwater.  Some days, I am so flustered by the evening time, the time when I ususally pray it, that it feels impossible and I fail that day.  So I'll have to come up with a solution for that one. 

In any case, sometimes I feel no insight into the mysteries, and that has become more and more common as I try to pray it daily and not just when I feel like it.  I am aware that the devil can plant all kinds of illustrious ideas into your head, and fill you with pride, "Oh, look at me, I'm so spiritually advanced, I have such sublime ideas" one might think.  So perhaps struggling with the mental prayer is not the worst thing in the world.  On the other hand, you could be experiencing spritual aridity, and that's the reason you have trouble praying, but I"m not at that point yet.  I'm just a beginner at this prayer thing, this SSPX thing, this whole spiritual life thing.  My only hope is that God lets me live long enough and grants me the grace to persevere in prayer, and to live long enough so that I overcome myself and make the rosary such a part of me that I can't live without it.  And I pray that I'm not doing something wrong to cause myself to have such a struggle in praying this wonderful prayer, given by Our Lady through the hands of Saint Dominic to the world.

Well, I've never done this blog thing before until a couple of days ago, but since everyone seems so shy on this website, I figured I'd bust out some more of my life story. :)  I was brooding just now, thinking back on the past, some things that have gone wrong.  But then I realized that my definition of "wrong" may be God's definition of "right'. For example, I've lost touch with all my college friends, and so many people have come and gone into my life, that now I find myself alone with the Blessed Mother and Jesus and all my favorite Saint friends.  I was educated in Catholic schools, and I actually got an almost good spiritual formation, though they were not traditional schools, more like diocesan.  I remember my parents' talking to the Headmaster of my high school, telling him that I felt isolated, and he was like "Oh, Jason? No way, he's got such a good personality"  It was an all-male Catholic high school, with strong discipline where I felt so stifled.  Can anyone relate to an oppresive high school experience?  I went into a shell, even though I was an A++ student, racking up A after A, acing all the standardized tests in my way.  And it has only been recently that I realized that I put myself into a box, by discounting people who liked me, and going after people who I felt were "cool" or "worthy".  I was a snob.  I never knew it at the time, but the reason I found myself so alone is that I discounted all the people in God put in my path that he wanted me to reach out to, and I reached out to people that were not meant for me.

In my twenties, and this was a hard lesson to learn, was that you have to meet people half way.  If you always insist on having things your way or doing things on your terms, you'll end up alone.  That is what happened to me.  I remember in my 20s, making friends with this guy who was so down on his luck, kind of what some people might say a "nerd" or just socially not acceptable.  My brother thought it was beneath me, because I was college educated at a good college and a young man, but I was tired of looking past people and I saw in that person the image of Christ.  His name was Jim.  We hung out, and it was fun, because I wasn't used to having many guy friends.  Most of my friends were women (This was well after high school).  And maybe I made a difference in his life.  But eventually I left, because I needed to start my career, and I left for Maryland.  There were no jobs in my hometown, so I left for a better life.

I lived alone all 5 years I lived in Maryland.  I didn't want a roommate, I wanted my privacy.  But I did discover that if you're not careful, life can get lonely living alone.  I dated while I was in Maryland, but I didn't have any close friends who were guys. That is part of the reason I joined this website, was to meet friends of both sexes.  Hopefully, in my old age (hee hee) now I will make new friends in Erie, though I've kept a low profile since I've been back to Pennsylvania.  And here I was just now, thinking of the people who are come and gone in my life.  My ex-fiancee always said that people come into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime.  I guess that's really true.  For me, there haven't been many who've been here for a lifetime.  But again, that's probably the way God wants it to be.  You can become too attached to certain people, and maybe that's why God made me depend on Him.

So, here I am Lord, I come to do your will.  I accept the transitory nature of friendship and life, but still seek to find my karass or posse or whatnot.  May the Lord bless all of you on this website in finding true friendship and true love.

Jason Samuel

Hello all you wonderful Catholics out there - I am here back in my hometown where I started on this Earth after 5 years of teaching high school math in Maryland, near our Nation's Capital.  I am discerning a new career path and a vocation in life, whether it be to the single life, married life, or priesthood.  I did my share of dating while on in Maryland, I was on AveMaria and even was engaged for a short time.  But I'm still single, I still have no children, just a little more life experience.  I may not be ready to get married, like, tomorrow, but I definitely feel I am growing as a person and on my way, and understand what marriage is about, the highs and the lows, the sacrifice involved.  I love the Lord with all my heart and I'm adapting some new practices like weekly confession and more spiritual reading to help me grow in the spiritiual life.  I just hired a spiritual director, but I'm not sure she's on my Traditionalist tune, but it's always nice to get someone with a new perspective on life.

In these tough economic times, it's good that the Lord always provides, but I am definitely wanting to go back to work soon, I have recovered from some health problems which forced me to leave my old job, I hope this isn't scaring people away, but I'm a very open person and it's best to know all about me up front.  I haven't had the courage to write anybody on here yet (hah!) I know the guy is supposed to write first and be the initiator, but I welcome anybody to get to know me.  I was a psychology major at Allegheny College in Northwest PA and went to grad school at Tufts U. in Boston for a year.  It was a wicked pissa' to tell you the truth :-)  I then endured years of educating our youth on the tennis courts of Erie and the schools round here and in a place called Gaithersburg.  I'm featured on youtube rapping for my students, which I did quite a lot.  I'm going to try and rap my way to the kingdom of heaven! Well, not exactly, I'm not sure how being a traditional Catholic meshes with rapping.  oh well :)  I met many wonderful people on Ave, they were generally much better people that I dated from quote unquote "real life".  I believe in the online thing myself, I know it works.

I promise you a free tennis lesson if we ever meet in person.  I can rap over the phone, too.  Happy Labor Day!

Jason Samuel