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PRE-MARRIAGE LIVING
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PRE-MARRIAGE LIVING
A lot of people out there get together to live under the same roof before marriage. The main idea is to get to know the person before professing vows together before God hopefully for the rest of your life. Many people do it for financial reasons or just to get started on the intimacy part of a relationship. Well, they say, we are going to end up together, so why not get started? Also, people feel like it can be a good test drive before deciding to tie the knot, just in case it doesn't work out.
Well, as Catholics, we all know we can't do that in the eyes of God, but from looking at friends, and examples of others, even statistics, it really doesn't pan out for a lifelong happy marriage. There are many who live together who end up never getting married. Why should they? If you are getting everything you want from cohabitating there really no incentive to move any further. Also, many have the opinion that it is just a piece of paper. But then, if there is no true commitment verbally voiced with witnesses and signed by both parties, how can one feel a conscience when the temptation to move on has arrived? There can't be much, except for money in some cases , that can keep you together. The risk of being unfaithful is also very high; the "no commitment rule" allows one to feel still free and available for others, and this thinking is very hard to break even after one does get married just because it is a habit. The rate of divorce is much higher in people who have previously lived together, and I read somewhere that it's actually twice as high. People who are loose before marriage are more prone to marriage problems afterward as they are used to their own wills and not conforming together for the common good.
True love is patient and kind. It will test well in proper courtship, and will succeed when marriage starts. Let's start marriage after courtship, and live marriage after the wedding. Let's also put God first, and pray we find our true mate in proper courtship! |
- There is also another point to consider. Statistically, children who come from families with a married mother and father have been shown to be successful in life and functional in society (on average, there are always exceptions). Those who come from single parent families have been shown to be less successful and often disfunctional in society. Can you guess where children of cohabiting parents fall? Psychology studies across the board have shown that these children fall in with the latter group. In other words, a home run by two parents who cohabitate but do not marry run the same risks (with regard to the children) as single parent families.
The reason? Well, some still speculate about the reasons. But we, as Catholics, can safely say that it comes from the lack of grace and the lack of example. Non-married couples do not show the same level of comittment and sacrifice as married couples. That status and that example mean a lot to children. It makes the difference as to whether they learn how to love, how to sacrifice, and how to be a real man or woman.
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