Well, I've never done this blog thing before until a couple of days ago, but since everyone seems so shy on this website, I figured I'd bust out some more of my life story. :)  I was brooding just now, thinking back on the past, some things that have gone wrong.  But then I realized that my definition of "wrong" may be God's definition of "right'. For example, I've lost touch with all my college friends, and so many people have come and gone into my life, that now I find myself alone with the Blessed Mother and Jesus and all my favorite Saint friends.  I was educated in Catholic schools, and I actually got an almost good spiritual formation, though they were not traditional schools, more like diocesan.  I remember my parents' talking to the Headmaster of my high school, telling him that I felt isolated, and he was like "Oh, Jason? No way, he's got such a good personality"  It was an all-male Catholic high school, with strong discipline where I felt so stifled.  Can anyone relate to an oppresive high school experience?  I went into a shell, even though I was an A++ student, racking up A after A, acing all the standardized tests in my way.  And it has only been recently that I realized that I put myself into a box, by discounting people who liked me, and going after people who I felt were "cool" or "worthy".  I was a snob.  I never knew it at the time, but the reason I found myself so alone is that I discounted all the people in God put in my path that he wanted me to reach out to, and I reached out to people that were not meant for me.

In my twenties, and this was a hard lesson to learn, was that you have to meet people half way.  If you always insist on having things your way or doing things on your terms, you'll end up alone.  That is what happened to me.  I remember in my 20s, making friends with this guy who was so down on his luck, kind of what some people might say a "nerd" or just socially not acceptable.  My brother thought it was beneath me, because I was college educated at a good college and a young man, but I was tired of looking past people and I saw in that person the image of Christ.  His name was Jim.  We hung out, and it was fun, because I wasn't used to having many guy friends.  Most of my friends were women (This was well after high school).  And maybe I made a difference in his life.  But eventually I left, because I needed to start my career, and I left for Maryland.  There were no jobs in my hometown, so I left for a better life.

I lived alone all 5 years I lived in Maryland.  I didn't want a roommate, I wanted my privacy.  But I did discover that if you're not careful, life can get lonely living alone.  I dated while I was in Maryland, but I didn't have any close friends who were guys. That is part of the reason I joined this website, was to meet friends of both sexes.  Hopefully, in my old age (hee hee) now I will make new friends in Erie, though I've kept a low profile since I've been back to Pennsylvania.  And here I was just now, thinking of the people who are come and gone in my life.  My ex-fiancee always said that people come into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime.  I guess that's really true.  For me, there haven't been many who've been here for a lifetime.  But again, that's probably the way God wants it to be.  You can become too attached to certain people, and maybe that's why God made me depend on Him.

So, here I am Lord, I come to do your will.  I accept the transitory nature of friendship and life, but still seek to find my karass or posse or whatnot.  May the Lord bless all of you on this website in finding true friendship and true love.

Jason Samuel