Courtship and Dating

Dating nowadays is such a loose term and can mean different things depending on who you are talking to. I've read somewhere that the idea of spending time with a person of the opposite sex with the possibility of a lifelong commitment has been around for the last century. It doesn't look like people dated in the Old Testament; more likely it was arranged. My grandparents on my mother's side were arranged. She was 16-17 and he was 18.They didn't know each other. From what I understand it was for survival reasons. It lasted and they had eight children together. From this example, I think it is healthy for parents to have some imput in who your future mate could be. (Hey, they were there once). But not everyone has that luxury.

Dating involves being with a person of the opposite gender with whom you have an interest  with over a period of time .Some people date for the sake of dating with no goal in mind, in and out of relationships, like buying and returning new clothes with no intent of keeping it no matter how well worn you use it. A Catholic form of dating involves courtship. You go out with someone with the intent of minding a mate for life. This is prep for marriage. How you spend your time before marriage often mirrors the way you'll be after you tie the knot.

Okay, courtship.  First of all, we should make sure it is God's will to be with that certain person. Jesus and Mary should be at the top of our game here.    You may say "My, this is getting serious."  Of course I am. This is going to be an important step in your life and if you are not serious about it or committed, don't date or be courted. Next, have someone that can guide you in your relationship, preferably of the same gender. Even a priest can give you some pointers. I remember asking a priest for advice in the confessional. Looking back, he was always right. There is a Proverbs saying which I feel drives home my point: "Without counsel plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed." Thirdly, spend time with this person doing activities, games, and visiting with family and close friends. This way you will see how he/she reacts to others or in a situation; is it pleasing to you? Are you finding out who this person really is? There is plenty of time later to stare in into each others' eyes and dream away reality.

Finally, ask God's blessing from the start. Be accountable for your actions. And as always, ask Jesus and Mary to guide you.